


worst. conversation. ever.

by ninemoons42



Series: Dragon Effect - Annika [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Mass Effect
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Embarrassment, Gen, Shovel Talk, the birds and the bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninemoons42/pseuds/ninemoons42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen gets THE TALK. He's not laughing. (Maybe Mordin is, who knows.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	worst. conversation. ever.

A scattering of heavy pistol parts on the workbench and several new mods that he and the Commander and the others had scrounged up from all kinds of strange places, and his tools laid out neatly, and the sort-of interested jibes from somewhere near Vega’s position, and Cullen rapidly put his Carnifex back together. Handy little extras. He liked working with his hands. He liked to think about things that could be done to make a pistol do more, go farther, without necessarily weighing it down too much. Not that that was really a problem for him because he normally worked from long-range, but then there was Shepard to consider: and she was deadliest in a melee, blue lightning crackling all about her.

He liked working with guns that he could test out and then place into her hands: though he couldn’t name the feeling, though he was afraid to say the words out loud, at least he knew she’d do better out there, with or without him –-

_Ping._

“Wasn’t me,” Steve said as he came through the sliding doors.

“Didn’t get anything either,” Vega grunted, and went back to his free weights.

So Cullen glanced at his omni-tool -- then looked at it again. Someone was asking for him, but why?

He put everything away and made sure to clean his hands, and what the hell did Mordin want with him?

“Ah. There you are. Have taken the liberty of locking the doors behind you. High possibility of awkward conversation.” And Mordin was working as he spoke, delicate adjustments to some instrument or another, eyes focused somewhere that was _not_ Cullen sitting down warily.

“I’m not a fan of awkward conversations,” he said, after several excruciating minutes.

“Aware of this. But the conversation needs to be had.” He watched Mordin switch from one sample to another. There was something far too deliberate about his normally darting, precise movements.

If Cullen didn’t know any better he could’ve sworn Mordin was just as nervous as he was.

“Seeing as you and the Commander have been -– ah -– _making overtures_ towards each other – ”

Cullen groaned, and seriously entertained the thought of throwing himself out the airlock. “Not you too,” he said.

“Everyone else knows.”

“This is ridiculous,” Cullen complained. Sure he’d been holding her hand, sure there’d been that one time they’d fallen asleep on each other in one of the rec rooms, and sure there were all those quiet talks but they’d sort of agreed to be careful, to take their time about it! And now he was here to get That Talk, and he started grumbling under his breath, mostly swearing at Joker.

“Apologies,” Mordin said, and to his credit he _did_ kind of sound sheepish, or at least as sheepish as a salarian could be. “Just in case, however, see it as my duty to warn you about having physical relations with a biotic. Certain uses of mass effect fields, possibility of gravity-induced injury, maybe a broken bone or two if she loses control. Bruises to be expected.”

Cullen groaned and covered his face with his hands and said, in muffled tones, “What else do I need to be warned of?”

“No problems regarding sexually transmissible diseases.”

Best not to mention how long he’d been celibate.

“Oh. Be careful with her right hip. Recent Reaper-inflicted damage.”

“I was there,” Cullen muttered.

“Yes. So you were. That is all.”

“Thanks,” he said, and -– well. He couldn’t be ungrateful. Mordin was only looking out for Annika. “I –- this was highly embarrassing but –- really, thanks.”

“Am beyond embarrassment,” Mordin said. “But am not beyond telling you: if you do something to hurt her, this entire ship is going to want your head.”

“Literally,” Cullen agreed, and that was easy to say. EDI’d already given him this particular talk.

Was that a smile? He wasn’t well-versed in salarian facial expressions. “For what it’s worth, you seem to make her happy.”

“I’m trying,” Cullen said.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also on [tumblr](http://ninemoons42.tumblr.com/) and my Dragon Age: Inquisition blog is [here](http://ninemoons42-inquisition.tumblr.com/).


End file.
